Encouragement to a weary soul

Romans 8:28
As I sat in my room crying and praying that God would give me some direction in the days to come, I was reminded of what this popular Scripture in Romans says: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Wow! It doesn't matter how many times I've read this (or preached on it), it becomes more real to me each time. I have been crying out to God because I am desperate for Him to show up in my life. I need direction and answers to questions I have been asking a lot recently.

The fact is, I am still struggling with being home. I want to be in Cambodia more than anything. I have never missed anyone or anything as much as I miss those people. My heart breaks just thinking about having to return to life as it was 12 weeks ago. Thinking about going back to everything that is "normal" nauseates me.

My questions to the Lord remain: Is going to Cambodia next year a real possibility? Do I need to start raising money? What ministries do You want me to be involved in this year? Do I need to take things out of my schedule to get involved in more ministry and to work more? (and to throw this one in for kicks) Why is EVERYONE in a relationship, engaged, or getting married right now when I seem to be as far away from that as ever? I guess I just feel like my life hasn't really even started. I want so badly to be out of school, in full-time ministry, and "settling down." I know my life is in His hands and "everything will work together for my good." I do. I know those things, but it doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that...I can't convince my heart.

Tonight was really good. Through all of my teary prayers, the Lord encouraged me not only through Romans 8, but also Jeremiah 31:25 "For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish." I know He will provide answers. He will do great and mighty things, even when I feel as though nothing is working out. He never ceases to show up at the right time. The only problem is that I tend to think that my time is the right time, when I am clearly wrong. Will I ever learn? :)

I have no idea why I am writing all of this on a public sight. I should probably be embarrassed to allow others to read these thoughts, but it helps to write it all down. I'm able to process and talk sense into my faulty mind.

Now, I must go to bed. I'll never get over jet lag if I keep staying up this late!