I AM with you.

Isaiah 41:10 

"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

On Friday, this was the Scripture that was on my mind and heart. It seems that everything I have been  looking forward to recently in my life is just not happening as I planned. "I Love Your Presence" by Bethel says, "Let go of your heart, let go of your head, and feel Him now." To me, that means: "Forget about your heart being broken. Forget about what logically seems to be chaos. Rest in the fact that I am here with you." As I wrote these words in my prayer journal, I was reminded of Isaiah 41:10 because it says, I AM WITH YOU. I needed to hear this tonight. He is with me. He's walking through life with me, hardships and all. He knows what I'm going through. He knows the discouragement I have faced. He knows when I'm lonely, sad, hurt, scared- and He feels it too. [Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses..."]

Matthew Henry says that "the scope of these verses is to silence the fears, and encourage the faith, of the servants of God in their distresses." 

FEAR NOT: Do not doubt God's promise.

I AM WITH YOU: I don't just hear you from a distance, but I am is present with you where you are.

BE NOT DISMAYED: Do not become discouraged by those who come up against you. 

I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU: When you are weak. 

I WILL HELP YOU: When you are in need.

I WILL UPHOLD YOU: When you are falling or sinking. 

WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND: Which brings punishment to your enemies and fulfills promises to the faithful. 

Keep.

Psalm 121: 5-8 "The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life. The Lord will keep you going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

KEEP שָׁמַר (shamar):  

To guard, have charge of, protect, save, retain, treasure up; keep watch and ward, observe, watch for...

First of all, I want to say that I love Hebrew so much! I miss taking that class! We can find so many different descriptions and definitions for words in the Hebrew. I looked up the word "keep" in Hebrew because I figured that the Psalmist was trying to say something since this word is repeated 6 times (in several forms) within this chapter. 

In verse 5, we find that he keeps us by protecting us and "shading" us from harm. This imagery of a shade reminds me of an umbrella. So just as an umbrella guards us from rain or sun, the Lord protects and guards us from all of the things that could bombard or harm us. It is a form of shelter. When there is a storm outside, we usually run as fast as we can to shelter. The same is true with the storms in life. We must seek shelter or shade by running to the Lord, who will guard and protect us from all of the dangers and trials of life. He is our place of safety and rest. 

In verse 7, it says that He keeps us from evil. Not only will he protect us from the evil that surrounds us, but He will also keep us from doing what is evil in His sight. He is the Guardian of our lives, so we do not have to fear. In everything that we do (going in and coming out), He will watch over us. 

One form of imagery that I found in studying the Hebrew is that of a garden. In Song of Solomon, we see that we, as the bride of Christ, are a garden. He is the keeper of the garden. He owns it and tends to it. This means that we are His alone. We must yield ourselves to His care and protection. The Garden Keeper provides us with all of the things that we need- water, light, food- as the garden is planted deep into the foundation. We too must be rooted in the foundation, Jesus Christ. We must continually receive our food, the Word. We need the refreshing and renewing water of the Spirit. We must have His light shining on us, which is the glory of His presence. And within all of this, we must make sure that we are HIS. That we allow Him to tend to us in the way that He must. Sometimes He has to prune us and remove things that are not necessary in our lives. This can be painful, but if we trust Him, we will see that He is good and only wishes good for us. 

Wall of Fear

I've started my last semester of undergrad. I am 12 hours away from getting that $65,000 piece of paper! It's so exciting and I can't wait, but I have found myself sad and scared to leave this place that has become home for the last four years. I am so grateful for the opportunity to come to this great school. It seems like yesterday when I felt the Lord call me to Lee through Campus Choir, but it has been over 7 years now. Crazy!

For my Pastoral Counseling class, we are reading The Dream Giver, which is an incredible book about a character named Ordinary who lived in the land of Familiar. He was visited by the Dream Giver who gave him a big Dream. Over the course of the first half of the book, we read about Ordinary's journey toward his Dream. He encounters many obstacles and several times, he comes very close to returning to Familiar, the place of his Comfort Zone. There are so many things to be learned from this book (especially now during my second time reading it.)

Following the story of Ordinary-- who, by the way, DID find his dream-- the author, Bruce Wilkinson, acts as a "dream coach" by giving advice on how to achieve and fulfill the dreams that God has given each of us. One thing that I can really relate to is the fact that there came a time where Ordinary was leaving Familiar and came to the Wall of Fear, which caused him to doubt everything that he had received from the Dream Giver up to this point. I have experienced this in my own life. Over the summer, I had broken past my comfort zone and realized that missions was truly something that I could do...and found myself absolutely loving it! [Shock shock.] Then, I came home. After several weeks of terrible reverse culture shock, I began to adjust back to life as I had always known it. I have recently realized that I repressed all of my feelings for Cambodia because that was easier than continuing to dwell on it. Talking about it with people only made things harder because no one seemed to understand! So...I came back to the place of Comfort Zone.

But now, I find myself thinking about Cambodia constantly. I have been planning to go back and also to visit Mongolia in the fall. Even though it is exciting and wonderful to think about, I am so scared! So, once again, I have encountered the great Wall of Fear, comprised of many fears....

The fear of leaving Lee when it is all I have known for 4 years
The fear of not finding a job upon graduation
The fear of leaving the country alone
The fear of not raising the money to go
THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

It's a dreadful thing, this fear. But, this spirit of fear is not from God. In 2 Timothy 1:7, we are told that in place of fear we are given POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND. In other words, the Lord will provide strength to do what He has called us to (Isaiah 41:10.) He gives us His love, which "casts out all fear" (1 John 4:18.) And he gives us "peace, which surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7.)

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."

Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."