Wall of Fear

I've started my last semester of undergrad. I am 12 hours away from getting that $65,000 piece of paper! It's so exciting and I can't wait, but I have found myself sad and scared to leave this place that has become home for the last four years. I am so grateful for the opportunity to come to this great school. It seems like yesterday when I felt the Lord call me to Lee through Campus Choir, but it has been over 7 years now. Crazy!

For my Pastoral Counseling class, we are reading The Dream Giver, which is an incredible book about a character named Ordinary who lived in the land of Familiar. He was visited by the Dream Giver who gave him a big Dream. Over the course of the first half of the book, we read about Ordinary's journey toward his Dream. He encounters many obstacles and several times, he comes very close to returning to Familiar, the place of his Comfort Zone. There are so many things to be learned from this book (especially now during my second time reading it.)

Following the story of Ordinary-- who, by the way, DID find his dream-- the author, Bruce Wilkinson, acts as a "dream coach" by giving advice on how to achieve and fulfill the dreams that God has given each of us. One thing that I can really relate to is the fact that there came a time where Ordinary was leaving Familiar and came to the Wall of Fear, which caused him to doubt everything that he had received from the Dream Giver up to this point. I have experienced this in my own life. Over the summer, I had broken past my comfort zone and realized that missions was truly something that I could do...and found myself absolutely loving it! [Shock shock.] Then, I came home. After several weeks of terrible reverse culture shock, I began to adjust back to life as I had always known it. I have recently realized that I repressed all of my feelings for Cambodia because that was easier than continuing to dwell on it. Talking about it with people only made things harder because no one seemed to understand! So...I came back to the place of Comfort Zone.

But now, I find myself thinking about Cambodia constantly. I have been planning to go back and also to visit Mongolia in the fall. Even though it is exciting and wonderful to think about, I am so scared! So, once again, I have encountered the great Wall of Fear, comprised of many fears....

The fear of leaving Lee when it is all I have known for 4 years
The fear of not finding a job upon graduation
The fear of leaving the country alone
The fear of not raising the money to go
THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

It's a dreadful thing, this fear. But, this spirit of fear is not from God. In 2 Timothy 1:7, we are told that in place of fear we are given POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND. In other words, the Lord will provide strength to do what He has called us to (Isaiah 41:10.) He gives us His love, which "casts out all fear" (1 John 4:18.) And he gives us "peace, which surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7.)

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."

Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."