Come Burn In Me

This morning, I woke up to find our street filled with fire trucks and police cars. Come to find out, our neighbors' house was on fire. The foundation of the house is still intact, but mostly everything in the house is gone. The firemen spent hours putting the fire out. I was unable to leave the neighborhood, so I stayed home until later in the afternoon. When I finally headed up to Cleveland, God began to speak to me about the events earlier. There are several things I have been praying and seeking the Lord about lately (direction, answers to specific questions, the next step after graduation, etc.) I was praying, once again, about all of these things on my drive. Then, all of the sudden, it hit me... Like the house fire that I witnessed today, the Lord is burning things on the inside of me. The foundation will not be shaken-- who I am will not be altered or affected-- but there are things He wants to consume and get rid of. In order for me to receive new things, there are some old things that need to be taken care of. 

This made so much sense to me! There are areas of my life that I feel are in flames. This semester, for example, there are many things that are different: 

1. I've only been back from Cambodia since July 18th, so I'm still having to adjust to things here. Sometimes I just break down because I miss Cambodia so much and want to be there more than anything.

2. Several things have come up lately and I am unsure as to whether they are a part of the Lord's will or if they are just things to distract me from His will. 

3. I am no longer in the ministry that forever changed me. Campus Choir was my entire life for 3 years, but the Lord spoke to me and I knew that I was not supposed to return this semester. I am now getting involved in other ministries and have been placed in new situations and surroundings. 

4. School is overwhelming. I have a really bad case of Senioritis and I have no motivation to do any school work. Graduation is May 4, but it seems too far away! 

In saying all of this, I realize that God is doing new things in my life. It's not that God removed bad things from my life; He just changed things. He had to uproot me from all I have known for the past several years in order for Him to do new things in and through me. The word uproot means: "to displace, as from a home or country; tear away, as from customs or a way of life." This is exactly how I have been feeling-- like everything I've known has been stripped from me. Don't get me wrong. Some of the changes have been great and I see the Lord's hand in all of it. It's just hard to adapt to so many new things. 

I started reading In His Face by Bob Sorge last week. It’s an incredible book and is perfect for what I’ve been going through recently. There was one section of the book where he talked about the valley seasons. He said that "between every two mountains is a valley." That's a good statement! Most of the time we think of "going from glory glory" as being on a constant spiritual high. The truth is that there are almost always valley seasons between those. I thought about some of the most awesome times in my life that I have had with God and I can honestly say that before and after each of these times was a low time where I felt dry and empty. Sometimes the Lord has to take us through these times to teach us, strengthen us, or keep us humble. This is where I believe I am right now. 


I was reading my book again tonight and it was crazy how applicable everything was. One line says, "As the fire burns away...we desire to gold of our hearts to become so pure...He is able to see His own reflection in us." As I was reading this section of the book, Kim Walker's Spontaneous Song 4 was playing. This song talks about God being an all consuming fire burning in us. I do not believe that it was by chance that all of this came up tonight. I think God was speaking to me. He's got a purpose in this season of my life. He wants to burn away the things that have kept my attention and He wants me to refocus and fix my gaze on Him. I also believe that He wants to burn away and remove things so He can fill me up through renewal and refreshing. 


It's sometimes painful and lonely to go through these times, but once we get through them, it's incredible how the Lord proves Himself! Sometimes we can't see what He's doing and it seems like He's left us...then BAM. He shows up and reveals all of the things that have taken place behind the scenes. I am so thankful for this reminder today. He is so good. He says, "I will not leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5.) He's always present...always working on our hearts and in our lives, even when it seems like we're alone and nothing is working out. 


--------------------


Matthew 6:31 "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while." This is what He is saying to those who are weary. He telling us: "Come away- alone with Me- to rest. I'll speak to you. I'll answer you. You just have to seek Me and trust Me."